Things To Say To Your Ex When He Says He Misses You So Bad. Learn how your comment data is processed. Interesting enough, men and women tend to process these emotions in different ways. But on some days like today I find myself dying to talk to him just to find out how he is doing. As I was saying, the determining factor in whether or not he wants you back is going to be how the problems int the relationship can be addressed and remedied. What to say when your ex says he misses you? I decided to go on NC for 2 months. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. And if your ex misses you, he will find a way to be very persuasive and he will insist on seeing you. From the onset of the relationship. (He thinks I have feelings for this guy anyway). An ex-boyfriend might be reluctant to take you back because they feel you haven’t changed. Also… We will be at the same party this Saturday. Another reason an ex-boyfriend might say he misses you is because he wants a back-up plan. I go to dinner with mutual friends, he invites himself. So yesterday when he seen me I was dressed up and looking different since I lost the weight. When he said his goodbyes to everyone, I just smiled and went back to talking with my friends. He says that he is proud of me for becoming more confident and independent, because if I was like this when we were together we wouldnt have broken up. Shortly speaking, we were never official. We have all been in a situation where someone has decided for whatever reason that being in a relationship with us is less important then something else in their life. If he is replying to your texts in a timely fashion then you are still on his priorities list somewhere. I had planned my life around him and I invested so much. Sometimes, a person experiences the barrage of emotions that accompany it right away, and other times a person will be able to suppress it for a while until it surges up later on. If your ex tells you he misses you but doesn’t want to get back together, it could mean that your ex is uncertain about whether a reunion would be successful. He liked a picture of mine, and all I felt was disgust. The next day, he deleted all our pictures off social media. What if he never texts me for our hangout this week? So nothing made sense. Do not sleep with him no matter what! You still want to be together and to hear that he’s been missing you filled you with a sense of hope… Until he followed up with, “But I don’t see this working out between us.” You went from feeling a huge surge of joy to a huge surge of sadness and despair. I began to mourn the loss of of relationship and got extremely sad and even showed up at his door step crying and telling him how sorry I am for everything. When you & your bestie have to reply to a text together ☎️ ️ . He constantly compliments me and tries to kiss me. He said it was ok and he would call that same week. How should I answer if he shows up with that question? As always the key to winning your ex over is to “Show, don’t tell”…. I have never felt so insulted in my life, I didn’t even bother to reply. He said he will help me as a thank for my help, but I sense he some how needs his own space at the moment. For more in-depth information on how exactly to make him want you back, all you have to do is click here! Where you live – relevant for Long Distance Relationships. Thank you. Perhaps he has not been receiving the level of female attention he had hoped for as a single man. The Commitment Pyramid works like this, if a man is at the bottom of the levels for personal achievement he isn’t going to be looking for the top level in a relationship. Hi Chris, I have finished my 30 days NC. 2 Note how often they contact you. I tried NC, he even contacted me two months ago to ask if i wanted to meet up then we didnt speak for three weeks then i let temptation give in and i called him four times and texted him that i missed him, and he agreed to meet up with me only to say the same things and also (i go to school across the country but we met in high school and dated before i went off to college), he said “i cant be in a relationship with someone across the country.” He told me he wanted to stay friends and that i could text him whenever i wanted, he always claims to be “so busy” with work which he is but it’s really b/c he doesn’t want to talk to me. I am slightly worried because she posted a video of them on her instagram (which she does a lot of) and I can hear him saying I love you to her in it. Am I being emotionally abused? He’s been with her for a little over a month. That happened another 2 times. He said, he wanted to stay friends with me, to support me in my art projects, to hang out etc. I do not want to lose this guy, for more than 2 years he was nothing but sweet and now he’s this. Ive never initiated contact, its usually him. Are they lying? My boyfriend of 5 years and I broke up about a month and a half ago. I am tried of being depressed. To do this you must start at on the bottom rungs and work upward, you cannot skip rungs as they have to come in order…. He said he was not just gonna have sex with me again because he loves and respects me too much. I still love my ex and want to be with him but I’m in a place where I need to choose myself first. My mind is full of rubbish and I have fallen into a deep depression and have been sleeping a lot. Take your time with this so that you can really analyze the situation. I’d like you to take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. We arent going to be in constant contact anymore because the issue has been resolved. Really think about this and like I said above, make sure you think about underlying issues as well. If you and your ex don’t see eye to eye on subjects like these then although he misses you, an ex-boyfriend may be reluctant to commit to a relationship as is will struggling to see a future with you. he doesn’t have to like social media.. The reason I felt that I was done was because, even as a “friend” he never asked me out for coffee or really just hanging out. I bugged out and he said that he understands because if he saw me with another guy he would freak out too. This is possible … and it’s also possible your insecurities are getting the best of you. All the time he was talking and giving excuses, all I could think of was “I’m done” but I kept my silence and just let him talk his balls off. You said it was a toxic relationship and that you can not get back with him then do not cross that line or you will end up in a even more toxic friends with benefits situation while trying to date others and going through a divorce. You Miss Your Ex. I’ll tell you exactly what’s going through your ex’s mind when he or she says “I miss you”, what they want, and how you can use this exchange to win them back. He showed up this week to a bar he knew I’d be at to hang out with me and the group (he would never show up before despite the invites our friends gave him) so why is he showing up more now. An ex needed to focus on things that were a higher priority than our relationship at the time. Does Being Friends With An Ex Help Get Them Back Or Not? Click To Find My Most Innovative Solutions For Getting Your Ex Back! While this is happening I’ve had several break downs and have called him crying telling him how much I miss him and that it’s hard to do this with out him. What to say when your girlfriend says she misses you depends on why she is saying it. What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Wants To Stay Friends, The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back, The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide), What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means, Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule, What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You, 7 Signs That Your Ex Wants You Back (Based On Case Studies), Leave Him Alone And He May Come Back To You. My ex is obviously in some kind of survival mode since he is struggling with burnout. Next, begin writing down solutions to each problem in the left column on the page. That he can’t do both. There is a way to tackle it however it will require continued and persistent effort on your part to win your ex-back. I finished 30 days of successful no contact with my ex. Yeah…he is kind of helter skelter…trying to find himself and get connected with his feelings. Hi. Read some articles and follow the information if you want to get back together. Ok so we've been together a couple of times over the past couple of weeks but he knows I'm never going to go there again. When two people break up, emotions run high. Why he doesn’t want to get back together. What to Say When He Says “I Miss You” By. When you finally agree to meet, he will talk about seeing you again another time. The brain says that there is solid evidence that you shouldn’t be together whereas the heart says that the emotions and the bond that developed between you are still there. So today we saw each other and had sex again.. what does this mean? After a while longer my view changed and I thought maybe I should give it another shot. Do not confirm or deny this let him question if you have moved on or not through your social media. I told him he has some things to figure out. The best way for your ex-boyfriend to keep you as a back-up plan is to give you a small amount of hope for the future by telling you he misses you but doesn’t want to get back together…. I really want him back! How high up you go as a potential girlfriend depends on how well you are doing in terms of your own personal investment in health, wealth and relationships. It is just a case of how long are you willing to wait. Just be yourself and smile and laugh and enjoy yourself at the party. Why Do I Miss My Ex Boyfriend So Much And How Do I Stop? On the one hand, it gives you time to anticipate that sweet, sweet moment when you can finally reunite. Said he’s a bad boy, he’s not one for a relationship, etc, and I said fine. What can you do if your ex-boyfriend is avoiding a relationship and a commitment with you? There’s a baby now that’s going to change everything. Should I reply? We talked about our good times and how we are both dating other people. After a breakup, you might not know things to say to your ex when he suddenly says he misses you. I told him i was busy and i just get it next time.. The second rung, covers a guy’s need for a job, good health, and “stuff”- personal belongings, clothes, phone, car and other things of that nature. There is a common misconception that the person who decided to end the relationship, which in this case is most likely your ex (but maybe not! What do you do? I miss him, but I know for a fact that I’m not in the right mind set to see him again. © 2020 Elite Communication Coaching, LLC. We have been broken up for roughly 3 weeks doing limited NC since we go to several of the same places (gym, school, church). In the long run, I do want him back. Hey Chris, What do I do?? A post shared by Amy Wilson (@amydidamydoes) on Mar 7, 2018 at 6:59pm PST. You feel empty and lost. His new girlfriend has a youtube page and one of her videos was of them together trying new snacks and he genuinely looked happy with her. I’m confused. Hi Syini so you are not supposed to go head first into emotional conversations especially about getting back together, you need to get him talking to you in a friendly way, where you flirt now and again and increase the conversation from textings to phone calls and then meet ups slowly. I’m incredibly hurt but still love him. Now, even though it’s the truth, I don’t want to give him that satisfaction. You’ve been talking to your ex boyfriend, the man who still has your heart, and he’s just told you that he misses you. I have noticed that in many cases, women experience these emotions right after the breakup, and men are hit with it a week or two later. What do I do? I actually never thought about it like that! For a moment there you could feel your heart swell. For example, did you get a little but lazier in the relationship, did you stop maintaining your personal life, or did you maybe take him for granted ? He said he was on the same plan. He was my first. Perhaps that’s their career, perhaps it’s their social life, it could even be their health. Michelle Escultura - March 19, 2018. Just go slow and easy and maintain your independence. As of our chat he said no… That was 2 weeks ago though. After that I approached by texting, he replied but no conversation came out of it so now it’s been radio silence. What would you recommend to do in this situation? Sometimes women say it and don’t mean it, whereas other times it has a very specific meaning. Pick up my eBook if you feel you need guidance! Today he came over my house, we did not have sex but he said that he did want to kiss me, he also mentioned that he kind of wanted to get back together and that he misses me. I’ve been seeing a guy on and off for a year until he broke up with me for the third time last November. Don’t go out of your way to interact with him at the party. Please help, thanks! I unfollowed him at first, but realized it’s only a matter of time before I go stalk his page and it will be painful to see a pic of him having fun with that new girl. Consider playing along. He blindsided me and broke up with me just as he was about to leave the country for med school. tools available to you to help with this like the no contact rule. But he didnt have a problem with me as a person. He may then ask, “Is my ex lying when she says she still loves me? I’m not on medications anymore. I told him I don’t want to argue, that I never want to argue but that I know today is not that day. When this happens an ex-boyfriend will start to open himself to the possibility to a long-term relationship. He … If you are still in love with him, then it won’t be hard to tell him right away that you also miss him a lot. Im just worried I will lose him to this girl. If your ex is big on texting and you haven't heard a word from him since your breakup, don't try to interpret that silence to mean he misses you — he'd probably be texting you if he missed you. These past few months I got a second job, have saved some money, enrolled in nursing school, and have been trying to just show myself and him that my life is getting better and I truly believe it has. One reason an ex might say he is misses you, is that he is feeling lonely and insecure. To miss someone is a feeling, and it’s special, and … How would I go about trying to get him back eventually? All I said to him was next time he wants to come and speak his piece that it needs to be on a day and time that he is open to hearing what I have to say. Instead he is trying to set-up for a Friends with Benefits arrangement. The next area I am going to talk about will cover the reasons he is resisting getting back together with you and avoiding a commitment. Every breakup has different circumstances, but some things are universal. That last word makes a huge difference as it shifts a breakup from being permanent to being temporary. Hi. Consider that you could be busy at work, out with friends, or taking a long, relaxing bath, depending on the time of day. If you allow some time to … He left after that without another word. On top of that, his older siblings and parents had encouraged him to break off the whole relationship because it would be unfair for me since i had these big dreams. I go back to school in less than 2 weeks. Again I said… OK… Understood he needed time and I hope I was still available when he was ready. It isn't true. It was painful, because I still have deep feelings for him, but I finally unfriended him on FB because I felt like he didn’t have the right to see me being happy or having fun with my family and friends. He said he has been thinking about this for a week (at the time) and couldn’t shake off the feeling that he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. How do I get through to him? Below I have compiled a list of the most popular reasons for why an ex boyfriend misses you. He obviously needs time to get his act together. (He goes to school with her but not me). Ex and I had a long chat about 6 weeks post break up when he came to pick up a box. He feels like family to me and I don’t want to loose him but I just want more than he is giving me right now. I see my ex regularly because of our kids, we were together 7 years. Because of this, your ex-boyfriend is going to have legitimate reservations about getting back together with you. He just thought that i had issues(I assumed its my depression, coz he didnt mention those issues) to deal with and he wanted me to deal with them without his influence. The role of the coach is already taken by his mother. Then I offered to come to his new apartment since I hadn’t seen it and he told me he didn’t want “our emotions to raise being around a bed” so i said “omg that makes sense u seemed like u didn’t want me to cone before” and he assumed i was mad, but i reassured him that i wasn’t and that id just like to see him. A part of me wants to move on from him but i feel like i cant. How ever I’m wondering how long it could eventually take for my ex to sort out his life, that is ofcourse something that no one can predict. Now you’re left thinking, “If he says he misses me but doesn’t see us together, what do I do? They won’t take you back but now they say that they miss you… what does it mean? When he has done this then he is going to be open to the idea of marriage. I was thinking of just letting the text go for now because I do not want him thinking he can use me as a back up plan or safety net whenever he is lonely. We almost slept together but stopped before… Which was the right now. I do want him back but I want him to want me back and be sure of me. Rebound or not, I just didn’t want to see him with another girl. 5 Situations when a Guy says he misses you: See, you may have already seen many websites which bombard you with some absolute non-sense, which are no way practical. After a breakup, there is a period of time where your ex-boyfriend will have doubts over whether he has made the right decision about breaking-up. Essentially this model highlights how his personal achievement relates to the extent of his emotional availability for dating. 2 days later he texts to chat me up for a few days. Now I understand better why he isn’t ready for a serious relationship. At that time I was suffering from depression due to our relationship. For example: Here are 4 common reasons why a girlfriend might say that she misses you: You’ve recently broken up and she’s regretting it. His reason for breaking up was he felt I loved him more and he wasn’t sure about how he felt about me. ex is a girl and if your ex is a guy! I am not sure where to go from here. Hi What the Commitment Pyramid shows is that there are several things people need in their life before they are looking for a serious relationship. The conversation ended on a good note and he wanted to make sure he’d be able to talk to me again. To help make the answer to the question, “Does he miss me,” a “yes,” read all of this article to learn how you can use the right kinds of pressure to get him to miss you and to miss you enough to reach out to you to get back together. Ummmmmm. Getting your ex to recommit to a relationship takes an understanding of his reservations and you will need to use these to improve yourself and your situation however not all breakups are caused by you, sometimes they relate to how ready your ex-boyfriend is for a serious relationship. But you have set that bar where he knows he can not get sex from you without a relationship. So when he said he still wants to be friends with me, I just shrugged and smiled. (With Chase Kosterlitz), What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Wants To Stay Friends. We didnt break up over the relationship, it was doing great, but Im just not quite sure where to go from here. I asked if I misunderstood the reach out the previous week. I am going to stop sleeping with him but I don’t think he is using me for sex. Just not now when I’m still raw from the pain. I guess that’s the best thing to do right now and to focus on the holy trinity. Due to external circumstances we had to remain in touch. Most men have an unconscious transparency to their nature, so what’s in their heart will reflect in the tone of their voice. By saying he misses you he can lay some foundations for a Friends with Benefits situation knowing you might accept it in the hope that it leads to something more later. Most people either thought we’re dating (because we’re always around each other) or just close friends. I know that medical school and marriage seem like a long short, but a lot of people have done it and are still pulling it off. I asked him to text me when he’a free this week and he told me he would. Whilst these may seem kind acts, he will perceive that you feel he is incapable of doing these things himself. We also have a camping trip coming up in a month and I’m not sure if I should even go because being around him makes me just want more. What you don’t want to do is tell him how to do it, teach him, nag him or dissect his problems. Why isn’t she coming back? Hi, thank you for an interesting post and topic. For example, if you know that you got lazy in the relationship and stopped taking care of yourself and doing things that benefit your well-being (your hobbies, yoga, seeing friends), write a comprehensive list of all the things that you can begin implementing in your life once again. We were very toxic for each other and things were awful so I was very hard broken for about a month or so. Hi Pia, so there is no way to tell you how long it will take him you are correct. And indeed, you should have zero tolerance for any disrespectful treatment. My responses have been friendly and a little flirty. This reason is one of those things you won’t want to hear about. He told me that the distance is too great for us to be together.” It’s a tough situation, but I am sharing it with you to illustrate how a breakup doesn’t mean that the feelings disappear. Am I doing the right thing? Do you miss me?” move he used twice before? It’s important that you analyze the situation and think of anything else that there could be so that you can work on finding solutions for those things as well. Even if we have our reasons for leaving, we can still miss someone. Do they secretly want you back but can’t admit it? I feel like I don’t want to kick him out of my life but I also just don’t want to just sit here and remain only friends.